25 years ago I watched my little baby sister go through a three year journey with cancer which ended with her death. I knew at the moment of her death that she was in a much better place. She no longer was in pain, but the emotional pain I went through knowing I would never see her again, until the day when Jesus takes me to heaven was indescribable.

When my sister died, I had just had my second child, Kristi and all I could think is I never want to see my children go through anything like this. I was 23 years old at the time and this was the first time I had experienced this kind of pain. I remember being fearful that my children would get sick. I prayed often for God to spare them from this. God answered that prayer. While they had the usual colds, and child hood illnesses, really they were pretty healthy children. I have thanked God often for answering this prayer.

Fast forward to the last 4 years … we have been blessed with 4 beautiful grand daughters. Brooklyn and Malia are 4 and 2 years old and again, other than some allergies, and Asthma issues they have been healthy beautiful girls. Our next two were born this last spring.

The first, baby Kinsley was born in March. She was precious. I had the privilege of being in the room as she was born. She was beautiful and healthy. As we were looking at her while the nurses were cleaning her up and checking all her stats … we realized that her left foot only had 4 toes.  We just thought it was cute. She is perfect in every way, even with only 4 toes. It made her unique. We have found out since then that there could be some pretty serious complications with this and we are just praying that her leg grows in proportion with her other leg. Again, though, with all this we just felt so blessed. She is a miracle from God and a gift to our family. 5 weeks later, baby Jazlyn was born. I was in the waiting room. Our son Jaron was texting with his sister (Kinsley’s mom). Jaron has always been a joker so when he texted that baby Jazlyn stole one of Kinsley’s digits …. Well, we just assumed he was joking. He was joking in a way, but not about the fact that Jazlyn had an extra finger on her left hand. The Hospital removed it and you can’t even see where the finger was.

We had some good laughs about this … still feeling so blessed to have now 4 healthy grand daughters.

We have had the privilege of having baby Jazlyn in our home for a good portion of her little life. Her Mom has suffered with some pretty severe Post Pardom issues. Because of that we have taken care of Jazlyn at our house most of the time, until recently when Anna, was doing well enough to take her sweet baby home and take care of her. A few months ago we noticed that she did not seem to track correctly with her eyes. In fact she rarely looked at us and did not notice toys, or bottles when placed in front of her. Jaron and Anna took her to her doctor where it was confirmed that there did seem to be a problem. We soon found out that her optic nerve never developed correctly. Her Optic Nerve is one sixth the size it should be. Jazlyn is legally blind. We don’t know the extent of her vision loss until she is old enough to communicate with the doctors. What we do know is from spending time with her, is that she sees very little. When we talk with her, she turns her head away from you. We realized that she is focusing on the sound of our voice and she really is not turning her eyes away from us, but turning her ears towards us. She does not make eye contact like most babies, she makes “eye contact” with her ears. She also touches everything in a way that I have never seen before. She feels everything. One of the most precious things she does, is cuddle her face next to ours and wrap her hand around your neck so she can feel the vibration of our voice. She also loves to feel what our mouth is doing as we talk. She is learning to see in a new way. We pray every day that God will heal her eyes. I know that God has the power to do it and I would love nothing more than to see baby Jazz see the beauty that God has created.

I was thinking about these two babies and how they both have what many would say were “defects” but to me they are perfect. You see, God created them just the way he wanted them to be. Will he heal them? I don’t know. I know that he can and if it is his will. But whether they are healed or not, they are perfect.

When I look at baby Kinsley and her little four toed foot, I see a happy well adjusted beautiful little girl who is learning to enjoy everything around her. She does not know that if her leg does not grow she could be facing some very painful surgeries that could require her to move away for 5 months while she goes through the surgery. She does not worry about her future. She is happy and knows that when she is hungry, she is fed. When she is in need of a diaper change, she is changed, When she just wants to be held and loved, she is cuddled and has more love than she knows what to do with.

When Tim and I are in public with baby Jazz, people always want to see the baby. There is something that is magnetic about a cute baby. Strangers will come and see a cute baby and we as grandparents eat that up. They will talk to her and talk about how happy she is. Sometimes they notice the eyes are wandering or turning away and make a comment about it. We tell them that she is legally blind and they always reply with a sadness. The funny thing is, that we are not sad. We do want her to see, but little Jazz, does not know that she is blind. She is happy and has learned to see. She recognizes her family by sound and touch. She loves to stand and jump and she loves music. She is a happy well adjusted baby who knows that she is loved and is not concerned about her future and if she will ever see.

That is how we should be. Sometimes we can worry so much about the future. I see people concerned about their jobs, investments, whether to buy stocks or buy gold. But the truth is, God wants us to trust Him. It is wise to make good investments with our lives and finances. It is good to work hard and find a job that supports us, but when we cross over from being responsible to being worried, I think we have forgotten that God is there to watch over us. We don’t need to worry about tomorrow any more than our sweet babies do. They are content and at peace with their lives. I can learn from my little babies … I don’t need to worry. I have a God who takes care of me. I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat, I have family and friends who love me and a God who cares about every part of who I am. Thank you God for loving me and teaching me to see through the eyes of a blind baby.